Fake nails are a wonderful thing. Sexy, empowering, good for scritching the kitty. They make this neat "tak" noise when they hit hard surfaces. They elongate your hand and lend grace to them visually.
And only visually. I cannot tell you how long it took me to type out Gina's drinking game. Well, I can tell you now, but I wasn't going to be wasting the time on Saturday. I might get fake nails again some day, but they'd be starter nails. They make those, right? Training nails?
Saturday... Was it so long ago? Alas.
The morning found us up in Concord. We had a date with Stitchy McYarnpants and her Museum of Kitchsy Stitches Trunk Show. We met Heather and Lora up there, and let me tell you, I was truly looking forward to this. The first time I paged through her book, I got excited. I think this is how endangered species must feel when they run into another of their kind.
Let it be known, I love ugly things. I like pugs. I like this car. I like granny squares. Remember the part in Lilo and Stitch, where Lilo is showing all of her pictures of tourists (really ugly tourists) to her sister? "Aren't they beautiful?" she sighed in awe. I know where she's coming from. I'm fascinated by fug.
When I found out Ms. Stitchy was going to be in Concord, I got excited. I knew she was local, from Mass somewhere (Boston). I didn't know how local she really was. She went to high school in Manchester, at a rival school. ('s cool. I was certainly not a cheerleader). Her parents live just a bit north of the store where she was speaking. I got to meet her mom.
But do you want to know the cool thing! I was able to impart an
object of Great Power. Yes. you know what I'm referring to.
Yeah. Still a bit scary. Huh? I lifted the picture from Gigi, cuz I honestly never got a good picture of someone wearing it. Chris and I stumbled on this bad boy at a Goodwill. I stared at it incredulously, started to laugh maniacally, and then I bought it. I knew that if I just told people about it they'd never believe me. I added it to my side show. Yes, I have a small side show. I've got a few patterns that are just a hoot. Don't believe me? I've got a doozy of a pattern book called Cat Knits (ISBN 0312020260, if you're so inclined) it was the first thing that I bought because it defied belief. I've got a few vintage patterns that would make you giggle. Stitchy's trunk show is what my side show would like to be when it grows up.
But back to this sweater (which I blame on Gigi and her ilk). This was a prize. And it has a designer's label. Yes, they made more than one. When I picked up Stitchy's book, I knew that I had found the rightful owner of this sweater. Now the bearstrosity has a home, with good friends, good company, bound be a subject of disbelieving gasps for years to come. When I gave it to her, she was actually rendered speechless. "You're giving this to me?" Coming from anyone else the tone she used could have been taken in a very different way. This way would usually follow with "What have I ever done to you?". But that was not it. Instead she told me that it would be her new crown jewel. I knew the sweater was in good hands.
Stitchy travels with many breathtaking objects. These are things that just make you wonder if you'll
ever be that bored, or have that much yarn that you don't like. Of course, I do have some favorites.
I'll call him Hoot. I love Hoot. He's an attentive little fellow who just wants you to take him home and hang him next to your avocado fridge, or your harvest gold oven. His only purpose in life is to make you feel good about your's.

This, well, let's just say that I'm putting the call out. When you can teach me how to make a granny
square sweater with shaping, I'll wear it. The saddest thing to
me about this sweater was the fact that I don't have a single straight
line on my body. I even checked after seeing this, even though it
was a fact that I was pretty sure of. Oh well.
And
then there was this. The (former) crown jewel. The way I
feel about this sweater is much the way I feel about tacky Navaho
knock-off necklaces that you find in tourist spots in the south
west. Yeah, someone took that sentiment, and said it with
yarn. There are a lot of great things that you can say with
yarn. This ain't one of 'em.

And that was our afternoon with Ms. Stitchy. Isn't her mom
cute? I got my book signed, and left without any major yarn
crises (and I found an entire pack of ten skeins of Cascade 220 in red,
red, red in the sale bin! 10 skeins for 45 bucks. Suckers!)
Then food (there's a sports bar next to the yarn shop that has a hell of a portabello burger and lots of beer. I loved it lots) and then home to get ready for Halloween.
How I adore thee, Halloween. Here be I and the blogless Amanda. She won $150 bucks with that costume. Made it all herself. I can only ponder at this level of craftiness.
In other news, Congratulations to Gina on her first podcast. It was very well put together, very focused and focusing (she uses her yoga voice). Definitely worth some time out your day.
And congratulations to Heather on her new baby bunny! Go help her name the new girl. The more I think about it, the more I like Tobu-chan. (Tobu means "to hop" in Japanese). But there are many wonderful names being bandied about. How about we just have a new name for buns every week. That could work, no?
All right, that's it for me. I've got a hot man in the kitchen, and supper's nearly done. I know. I'm blessed.

















Loved seeing the pics about the Stitchy visit and hearing about the day I missed. Darn. Thanks so much for plugging my podcast! You and Amanda look rockin' in your costumes!!!
Posted by: Gina House | November 01, 2006 at 03:11 PM
Great post! I would totally wear the ugly teddy bear sweater. LOL! I love your costumes, too!
Posted by: Arleta | November 01, 2006 at 07:48 PM
You truly added the most breath-taking piece to the Traveling Trunk Show. Everyone I show it to gets the same look on their face. It's almost like they run through a series of emotions, trying to come to terms with what's been placed in their field of vision. Maybe there’s a set of natural steps to accepting the bearstrocity (I'm so glad you already had a name for it!) Grief is certainly in there, and some denial and a little bit of secret desire for the bearstrocity to be their own. But then the nausea kicks in.
Thank you SO much, it was great to meet you, a kindred spirit it kitsch. I love that car you linked to, and I have loved pugs since I was little, before it was a total hipster dog. Beauty can be found in the most unexpected places.
Posted by: Debbie | November 02, 2006 at 10:58 AM